Doris M. Ewell Jones, Ph.D.

Family Outreach
Pine Forge, Pennsylvania



Preface iv
Acknowledgements v

1. Black Heritage
The Significance of a Racial Name
In Search of a Race 4 Black Is a Beautiful Color
The Historical Past in America
This Land Is Now Our Land

2. Black Women Are Blessed, Beautiful and Brilliant
A Litany of Blessings From Psalms
Black Women Can Be Winners
A Self-Talk Exercise
Interventive Strategies For Coping
The Provocative Black Woman (Verse)

3. Who Is The Black Woman?
How Does the Black Women Define Herself
Black Is Beautiful
The Black Woman Is a Survivor
The Triple Disadvantage of Being a Black Woman
Intervention Strategies
A Description of the Black Woman (Verse)

4. Personality Development for Black Women
Developmental Concerns Throughout the Life Span
Personality Development
What Can Be Done to Educate or Change
Intervene and Empower Yourself and Family to be Successful
Ideal Black Women

5. Black Woman Make the Most of Yourself
Develop an Adequate Sense of Self Esteem and Love
Advantages of Having a High Self Esteem
D isadvantages of Having Low Self Esteem
Developing An Adequate Self
Encourage and Build Self Esteem
A Positive Self-Esteem-Building Exercise

6. Black Women Have Needs
Categories of Needs
Black Women Need Racial Identity and Positive Feelings About Blackness
Black Women Need To Feel Competent and Confident
Black Women Need To Rid Self From a Judgment of Shame
Who Will Meet the Needs of the Black Woman
Black Women Have Unique Needs for Change
We Have Needs (Poem)

7. Black Women Can Learn to Love and Be Loved
Love is Essential
The Black Woman: Feeling In Love versus Being in Love
Demonstrate Your Love
Who Will Love the Black Woman?
The Black Women Needs to Love Herself
Learn to Love Yourself
Love Yourself and Others

8. Black Women Can Develop a Sense of Spiritual Well-being
The Blessed Black Woman
Faith (Poem)
True Freedom
The Source of Righteousness
Dreams in the Night
The Proverbial Black Woman
A Descriptive Analysis of an Ideal Woman
Spiritual Intervention
My God Can Do Anything (Poem)

9. Black Women Can Improve Their Financial Lot
Spiritual Perspectives on Money
Financial Principles
Basic Financial Tips for Survival
The Life You Enrich May Be Your Own
A Sample Budget
Some Creative Business Tips

10. Black Women Can Maximize Their Health
A. Health Risk and Care
B. Health Problems & Illness
1. Aids&HIV
2. Hypertension
3. Anemia, Sickle cell
4. Vitiligo
5. Alopecia or baldness
6. Cancer
7. Tuberculosis
8. Diabetes mellitus

11. Black Women Can Be More Than People Pleasers
Pleasing That Displeases
Learn to Accept Yourself and Others Unconditionally
Co-dependence: Loss of Freedom and Choice
Escape the Trap of Being a Compulsive People Pleaser

12. Black Women Can Communicate Understanding
Communicate Understanding
Communication in Relationships
D isclosure Helps
Faulty Communication and Interaction
Characteristics of Destructive Families
Impact of Dialect on Communication
Supportive Intervention

13. What the Black Woman Needs From the Black Man
What Makes Women Feel Vulnerable to Men?
Women Attach Strong Emotional Needs to Men
The Black Woman Needs Understanding
Black Women Need to Understand Black Men
Some Ways Men Show Off to Get Attention

14. Black Women Can Plan Suitable Marriages
Black Women Take Time to Select a Mate
Make Courtship An Enjoyable Learning Experience
Black Women Look for Desirable Traits in Men
A Formula For Selecting a Mate

15. Why Some Black Women Are Successful With Men
Develop Friendships
The Winsome Black Woman

16. Why Some Women Fail to Develop Love Relationships
Socio-Cultural Factors
A Competitive Spirit
Defensive Ploys to Protect Against Disappointment
Intervention Strategies

17. Black Men and Women Can Relate Harmoniously in Relationships
Fantasy or Reality?
How Men and Women Differ

18. Black Women Can Help Improve Their Marriages
Desirable Characteristics of a Wife
Black Women in Marriage Relationships
Some Factors That Undermine Marriages
The Effect of Economic Entrapment
Rationales for Marriage
Father's Commitment
A Mother's Myth: lVIore Is Better Than One
The Meaning of Submit
Interpersonal Conflict and Anger in Marriage
Couple Communication
Factors of Interpersonal Relating
Assumptions About Thinking

19. Black Women Can Be Sexual and Moral Too
The Sexual Black Woman
The Purpose of Sex
Sexuality in Marriage
Some Causes for Sexual Problems

20. Black Women Can Protect Against Undue Anger, Conflict, and Aggression
Drug Abuse
Sexual Insult and Violence
Myths that Make Women Vulnerable
Intervention and Protection Against Violence

21. The Black Woman Can Experience Parenting Success
Teach Children to Cope With Stressors
Stages of Development
Help Black Parents Feel Secure
Know Developmental Needs
Know Why Children Misbehave
Know Why Black Children Fail
Encourage Your Children to Learn
Make Communication With Your Children Friendly and Respectful Avoid Child Abuse and Neglect

22. Black Women Can Mature Gracefully
Celebrate The Good Life
Life Changes
Support Networks
Marriage and Sexuality
The Physiology of Aging
Health and Longevity
A Program of Healthy Living
Death: The Inevitable End
Financial Plans
A Formula For Life

23. Black Women Do Experience Success
Noble Black Women of the Past
Contemporary Successful Black Women
Samples of Grassroots Community Activists
The Vulnerability of Black Women Can Be Overcome





Black women have historically been considered the caretakers of the African American family. When black men were unable to get work, the black woman usually swallowed her pride, forgot about her own needs, and took any kind of menial work to assure her family's survival. In so doing, the black woman has injured her own health, shortened her life span, and limited her personal achievements and satisfactions.

Although black women are progressively becoming more and more enlightened and are beginning to focus more on their own growth and development, they still tend to neglect taking proper care of themselves. They frequently tolerate life styles that could be improved, and they often form relationships that are destructive. This book aims to empower the black woman to feel blessed, beautiful, and brilliant.

This book is written to help the African American woman: to understand herself better, to help to improve the quality of relationships with significant others, to gain more personal satisfaction in life, to acquire more effective coping skills, and to improve the process of decision-making and problem-solving based on sound moral values and principles. Most of the content of this book is based on verbal histories obtained through interviews, observations, and interactions with black women who shared their life experiences.

It is time for black women to love and take care of themselves. The energies of black women must be invested in liberating themselves from the stigmas of slavery, in improving the skill needed to cope effectively, and in learning to build up and strengthen one another.

Generally, spiritual and psychological principles have been applied to meet the unique needs of the black woman. Black women are also empowered to teach their own children to cope effectively and teach them how to experience success.